« Find a good real estate deal in a new city in less than 3 hours | Home | Why you must personalize your conference bags »
How to get over betrayal and the power of forgiveness.
By Origin Psychics | September 18, 2008
Forgiving someone that has wronged you can be extremely difficult. However there are rewards for those who learn to forgive
Many of us have been or may well be hurt at some point in our lives. In todays world nobody is perfect and it is very rare for someone to go through life not having felt the deep pain of being wronged. From something as hurtful as a marriage breakdown, to not getting an invite to the party of the year, these feelings are now part of our everyday lives.
Dealing with hurt
Everytime we are wronged we ask many different questions. What will I do know? How will this impact on my future? Forgiving can be very hard and it is sometimes better to think of what the consequences of not forgiving would be.
What happens when we don’t forgive?
Often our desire not to forgive is based on a belief that to forgive is to some how let the person of the hook .How could we forgive a child abuser, Hitler or any other person that commits a hideous crime. Yet this is based on a lack of understanding of what forgiving really is. To forgive or not to forgive relates to an internal choice of what you choose to hold on to in your own thoughts and feelings.
The repercussions of never being able to forgive.
By being unforgiving you are holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal. Being unforgiving you’re saying to yourself “I am not going to let this event go and I going to remain angry, bitter resentful and hurt. Being unforgiving does not change the past or hold back the person you don’t forgive, rather it is a self inflicted poison that can only lead to a more miserable life.
A real event.
A very emotionally intelligent and big hearted client of mine told me what she did when she found out her husband of 30 years had run off with the successful younger woman next door. When you thought she would have rightfully punished him or made his life difficult she did the opposite. She told him although she was hurt and still angry that she loved him and she wished him happiness, she said this sincerely and honestly .She told me although what he had done brought her great sadness she recognized that he was still a good person. Who did she do this for? not him but herself, not in a selfish sense, but self-loving sense. She told me she didn’t want to have a bitter heart, she didn’t want to let him do that to her. In the process of forgiving him and letting go she freed herself from years of unnecessary misery.
What our actions mean for others.
When we forgive we are also taking into account that we too may have hurt someone perhaps unknowingly as well. Although your partner may have betrayed you, im sure if you look back through your life you will have also hurt somone or let them down in some way. Nobody is indeed perfect, everybody has their faults and so by forgiving others you are also getting the chance to forgive yourself. As usually what we condemn or judge about others will actually mirror how we judge ourselves.
The power of an open heart
Although being forgiving may seem hard, you can be assured being unforgiving takes a lot more time, effort, energy and inevitably leaves us with nothing. So when you are faced with deep and painful hurt, look deep in your heart and make a choice to forgive, to let go, to embrace and welcome the liberating power of forgiveness in your heart, mind and soul.
Topics: Relationships |
Comments
You must be logged in to post a comment.
